Let’s sit down for a quick chat.
This one’s not a “look at me” story. This is a wake-up call story.
Because I need to talk about something that keeps happening… and honestly? It bugs me every single time.
Yes — I know what I’m doing online.
Bodybuilding. Coaching. Social media. Photos. Videos. “Arty vibes.”
(And just to clear up the rumours before they start… my wife is the photographer, so no, I’m not out here taking romantic tripod pics of myself in the dunes like I’m auditioning for The Bachelor: Tableview Edition 😅)
But here’s the thing…
The amount of people who slide into my inbox trying to organise a “quick one-night situation” is… wild.
And it’s not only single people.
It’s married people.
Sometimes it’s someone with a profile pic like:
“Blessed ❤️ Family first 👨👩👧👦”
…then five minutes later:
“Hey Gert… you free tonight? 😏”
Eish.
It’s Not Flattering… It’s Actually Sad
Let me be honest:
I don’t sit there thinking “wow, I’m the man.”
No.
I sit there thinking:
What is happening to people?
Because what I’m seeing isn’t confidence.
It’s not “freedom.”
It’s not “living your best life.”
It’s people who are lost, bored, empty, chasing excitement like a kid chasing a soccer ball in the street.
And maybe you’re reading this and thinking:
“Ag come on Gert… it’s just flirting.”
“It’s just messages.”
“It’s just a bit of fun.”
“It’s not that deep.”
My friend… that’s EXACTLY how it starts.
Nobody wakes up and says:
“Today I’m going to ruin my marriage.”
It starts small.
A little chat.
A little attention.
A little secret “how are you really?”
A little “don’t tell anyone” vibe.
And next thing you know… you’re in a mess you never planned to be in.
Adultery Isn’t “Fun”… It’s Self-Destruction With a Filter
I’m not here to preach at you like I’m perfect.
I’m not that guy.
I’m still working on my own walk with Christ. Daily.
Sometimes I’m strong. Sometimes I’m stubborn. Sometimes I’m a chop.
But I’m trying.
And I’m telling you this with love AND truth:
Adultery is not a thrill.
It’s self-destruction dressed up as excitement.
It’s like ordering junk food at 2AM…
while you know you’ve got a big goal.
You enjoy it for 10 minutes…
then you feel sick for two days.
Except this isn’t food.
This is your life.
You don’t just cheat on your partner…
you cheat on your own soul.
Proverbs 6 Doesn’t Play Games
Now listen… I’m not trying to “Bible bash” anyone.
But the Word is the Word.
And Proverbs 6 is brutal honest.
It says:
“Whoever commits adultery lacks common sense…
He who would destroy his own soul does it.”
(Proverbs 6:32 AMP)
That verse doesn’t say:
“Oopsie daisy, you made a mistake.”
It says:
You’re destroying yourself.
And that’s the scary part…
Because even if nobody finds out…
You know.
And once you start living a double life, you lose something inside you.
Piece by piece.
You become the type of person who lies easily.
Hides easily.
Justifies easily.
And then you wonder why you don’t feel peace anymore.
The Real Price Isn’t the Affair… It’s the Aftermath
Most people only think about the moment.
The excitement.
The attention.
The “I still got it” feeling.
The escape from routine.
But nobody thinks about what comes after.
Let me tell you what I’ve seen:
- The guilt that sits on your chest when you’re alone
- The paranoia when your phone buzzes
- The cold distance in your home
- The trust that never fully comes back
- The kids who feel the tension even if nobody speaks
- The shame you carry quietly like a heavy backpack
And then people act surprised like:
“Eish… I don’t know how things got this bad.”
But it didn’t happen overnight.
It happened one small compromise at a time.
“But Gert… You Don’t Know My Situation”
True. I don’t.
Maybe your marriage is struggling.
Maybe you feel unseen.
Maybe you feel lonely.
Maybe you feel like your partner doesn’t care anymore.
I get it.
But here’s the hard truth:
Adultery doesn’t heal pain. It multiplies it.
It doesn’t fix loneliness.
It gives you a temporary high… then leaves you emptier.
Because now you’re not only hurting…
You’re hiding.
The Strongest Thing You Can Do Is Stop
This is the part people don’t want to hear:
The strongest men (and women) aren’t the ones who chase every desire.
The strongest ones can say:
“Not today.”
Not because they’re scared.
Because they’ve got something bigger than pleasure:
Integrity.
And integrity is expensive.
But it gives you something money can’t buy:
Peace.
The kind of peace where you can sleep at night.
Look your spouse in the eyes.
Look your kids in the eyes.
Look yourself in the mirror.
If You’re Already In It… Here’s Your Way Out
If you’re reading this and you’re already in a situation… I’m not here to shame you.
But I am here to wake you up.
So here’s what you do:
1) Stop feeding it.
You can’t fight temptation while you’re entertaining it.
2) Cut the secret contact.
Not “reduce it.” Not “be careful.” Cut it.
3) Get honest with yourself.
What are you really chasing? Validation? Attention? Escape?
4) Fix the real problem.
Have the hard conversation. Get help. Do the work.
5) Come back to God.
Not for religion. For alignment. For truth. For a clean heart again.
Because no matter how far you’ve drifted…
You can always come back.
Final Words (Straight From My Heart)
I’m not writing this because I think I’m better than anyone.
I’m writing this because I’m watching people play with fire and call it freedom.
But the truth is simple:
If you trade your integrity for a moment… you’ll pay for it with years.
So to the wrong people reading this…
Think twice.
Not because you’ll get caught.
Because you’ll get destroyed.
Stay sharp. Stay clean. Stay disciplined.
In the gym… and in life.
👉 Coaching options: https://gertlouw.com/contact-me-2/coaching-options/
Happy training!
Gert
gertlouw 